What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
