Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
