Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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