I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
