U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I understand Curling. That high.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
