4 words: hood of his car
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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