I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
