I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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