So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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