whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
