Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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