I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have post one night stand depression
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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