Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
