So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
