Whod you bang
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
