OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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