So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
