Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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