Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
