Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
