So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
