Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
