im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
