i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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