P.S. I can't hear my feet
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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