Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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