Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
