This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
