My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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