So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
