either way he was missing a nipple.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let's get the cat blown out
I believe in your delicious
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
