I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
