Yo dont text me then not text me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
