when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
