I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
