He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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