Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
