I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
