I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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