The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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