I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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