i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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