woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
