She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
