New invention idea: vibrating tampons
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
