Jerry, you need to find god
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
