# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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