And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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