Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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