i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
