You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize