Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
