tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
