what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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