she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
