I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
