So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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