Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
