New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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