Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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