Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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