My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize