after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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