LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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