haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
