you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When are your genitals available?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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