the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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