We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
