go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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