She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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